The Most Difficult Moment in My Life

by Deysi C.

There are moments in your life that you will never forget. Some are good and some are not. There may be one special moment that you will always have in your mind for the rest of your life.

I always have a sad moment in my mind. Even if I am happy, it is going to be with me forever. Sometimes I wish I could take this out of my mind and throw it away like you do when something is hurting you, but I can't.

What stays in my mind is the last time I saw my father. I never felt like this before. I wish he could hear me now. I just want to hug him, tell him that I always needed him and that I love him very much.

I wish I could remember the way he looked. If at least I could have one more day to tell him everything I feel about him. I feel like a balloon about to explode. It is like all these feelings are trapped inside of me.

I never told him how much I needed him, maybe because I didn't know that myself until he died. I lived many years blaming him for all the bad things that happened to me after he left my mother. I was so mad at him that I didn't want to talk to him and I never listened to him when he tried to talk to me.

I thought I hated him. But the day I found out he was dead, I just couldn't believe it until I saw him in a coffin. I can't find words to explain what I felt at that moment. It's so sad to know that you will never see your father again and even worse if you never had him. I would give everything I have just to see him again, to tell him that I am sorry and that I need him. But now it is too late.

I feel alone without you, father, and now that I've lost you forever, I know how much I love you.

Copyright Silver International Newspaper 2001 (This page was created by Junior Max Destine.)